Life after the Hoffman Process so far
I decided to do the Hoffman Process because I believed it would help me resolve deep, unresolved issues in my life, even if I couldn’t fully identify them. My coach, Karen Davis, had found it transformative for her own relationships, particularly with her father, and while she never promoted it, her growth inspired me. In this article, my main message is to share how the Hoffman Process has made me freer, greatly reducing the judgment I place on myself and others. The process helped me find acceptance and self-compassion, which has profoundly changed my daily life.
One of the things I asked my guide, Annie, for was to become freer and do things I’m afraid of. I got that and much more. I had a feeling before the process started that I wanted help with feeling left out. It started when I saw people hanging out at a CrossFit box without me, and that triggered something in me. I knew it was not personal; it was spontaneous and had nothing to do with me. The incident was shortly after I had my fourth accelerator with Karen, where we worked on me forgiving my biological dad for leaving me. This was in October last year, and I guess the learning was still fresh in my mind.
Moving to Bali
I moved to Bali last July and was seeking out a community. I was new and far away from Norway, and I guess I felt a little needy or insecure. I wanted to get into a community where I felt I belonged and had people to hang out with. I got that and made some new friends from that community. I stopped drinking alcohol in the Process as I realized I wanted to be more productive in life and in my work. That has helped. After the Hoffman process, I realized I needed to get out of that fitness community, as it triggered my childhood pattern of not being good enough. Every time I stepped into that gym, I wanted to be seen, and I wanted to be the best. Since I was not seen as a child, my biological parents left me at age 4; it’s been a pattern that I need to be seen in order to be loved. One of the profound insights from the process is that I am picturing myself as a four-year-old looking into my own heart. In that way, I see myself. When I am with my inner child, I don’t need to show off with big CrossFit results.
I was searching for something.
Another thing I wanted was to become free. Most of my weeks after the process, I have been traveling to Australia, Da Nang, and Thailand. It’s been up and down the first 10 days, and I’ve been exhausted. Coming to Bali from Thailand a week or so ago, I am finally in flow and have more energy than before. I am joining all these events and networking. I am more myself than ever before, and I connect with people.
The big realization was that I thought I needed that gym to get to know people, but deep down, I knew I didn’t. People who know me know I have energy and can be extroverted. Truth is, I am an ambivert. Every time I stepped into that gym, I wanted to be seen, and that was not good for my body, as I was pushing it further than I wanted to. I was also planning a lot around CrossFit training, and I don’t want to do that. I am not a professional athlete; I could if I continued training, but I saw that it didn’t align with work, and my business, which I am passionate about, is my number one priority.
Breaking out
I broke out of that community because I realized what had been true all along: I am secure in myself. I will meet lovely people in other gyms with whom I deeply connect. I don’t have to think anymore about whether a place is easier to connect with people than another. That’s freeing as well. I am experimenting and trying a lot of places here in Bali, which is fun. Different gyms. I make new friends, and I don’t have to stick with expats either; I don’t have to be in one place, and I can choose to be in one place altogether. Life is richer this way as I get to try new places and things. I saw how I was judging other people who didn’t do CrossFit; they did calisthenics or other stuff, and now I am open to it all myself, like I was years ago with yoga and calisthenics before I found CrossFit. I will still continue with CrossFit, of course, I love it, but now I can scale and really listen to myself and what I need when I train, as I don’t have to beat anyone. I am opening my heart to the world, and I am open to seeing where that takes me. It is an amazing feeling. Nirvana Life Health Club is my main coworking space, and I also use other places like cafes, gyms, and restaurants for work. I probably will try to work from Reload Sanctuary at some point as well.
Do it afraid
Do it afraid is what I asked for, and now I can do it. It’s a message in here that says if something is uncomfortable, I probably do it. If it’s a dance class in hip hop or bachata, or something I’ve never tried before. I think my skills for meeting new people are now finally aligned with these insights, as I do it naturally without forcing it. It has always been a talent of mine, when I worked in sales many years ago in the corporate world. I am in sales in many ways today as well, but it is much more effortless, as I am just curious to get to know people and be of service to people who want to change their lives and have big goals.
Meeting new people
Now I am maximising relationship building, or at least trying to. As long as it is fun, I do it. I go to all these events now in Bali, networking, and doing a padel tournament tomorrow, and meet up at a bar after, and I have more energy than before. I sleep better, and I get more out of myself, which is fulfilling. My networking and building relationships with new people help me get new friends and potentially new clients. As long as I can face myself, be honest about what I am doing, own it, be bold in the process, and take ownership of my fortune-building, I am fine. I have been a six-figure coach for years now, and I am moving ahead.
I am deeply intuitive, and I trust myself along the way here. I have done more in the last week than I did in a month before the process. I am more focused now, I read more than ever, a book a day through short forms, and I don’t watch so much TV. That’s another thing that’s changed after the Process. If I feel avoidant or need to escape something or need a thrill, I am being with myself as long as it takes, I am breathing, and then letting it pass until I feel myself again, and I am productive or creative. I am having much more fun now, also.
CrossFit is healthy, but
I know that doing CrossFit has many health benefits. You do become extremely fit by doing this consistently. That’s why I will continue doing it, but for the right reasons. Not to be seen. Even my body looks the fittest it’s ever been, and now I am way more relaxed about how it looks. I know it’s nice to look good, but none of that matters more than being awesome. I value being awesome much more. In being awesome, I mean continually developing myself to be my best version and being a diamond, as I have been working on with Karen. I am teaching the men in my men’s group to become diamonds within themselves. That’s why I get them to read the Way of the Superior Man, for example. A nice body is one thing, and it’s nice to have a healthy body, but brains and being awesome are much more important. That’s why I am always learning and moving ahead.
Doing the Process is something I recommend to anyone, as you work with the pattern you learned from your parents as a child, and become free of it. It’s deep, and if you are serious about change, it’s ten years of psychotherapy in one week. It is intense, but I came out of it more alive than ever. Now I will just enjoy every bit of life and talent I was born with because that’s the only thing we really can do. I just didn’t see the ocean of resources I already had within me, and how it is to be my true self most of the time.
Some last words
My breaking out of that gym doesn’t mean I am not going back to it. I probably will drop in there from time to time, but now I don’t have to be in one community; I can be anywhere, and for the right reasons. I moved from Norway for a reason, and I loved moving to Bali. This is an excellent way for me to meet the right people.
This journey represents the leadership of my inner mastery and wisdom. Above all, my main realization is that freedom from past patterns has created space for growth—in my business and in life. I am no longer stuck and am ready to pursue new possibilities with confidence, guided by the main message that true change starts from within.
