Sharing my insights and struggles along the way as a coach is key to building a thriving, sustainable coaching practice.
I haven’t written in a while, and I want to write posts more consistently and share my challenges and wins along the way. Doing this work as a life and business coach for almost 12 years now, I have a lot to share.
It’s about sharing my journey, and I am sure some readers will relate to some of my stories.
The idea process
I moved to Bali in July this year after going back and forth from Oslo, Norway, in January and April. I have also been to Bali several times since 2019.
It took me a while to decide to move to Bali, as I thought it was too far from my family, which limited my imagination about what living here would be like. Initially, I planned to move to Lisbon, Portugal. With some trial and error back and forth, my limitations expanded, and I saw that it’s actually not that far of a flight from Bali to Oslo. I also got used to traveling, and over the last three years, I have been traveling around the world on average once a month.
In January 2025, I realized I could live here. Life here is easy and wonderful. I can drive anywhere on a scooter, with reasonable food prices, a healthy lifestyle, good weather, an international airport, and good wifi. I was beginning to see the possibility. I also surf sometimes, but am more active in CrossFit and other sports.
Be pragmatic
I wanted to be pragmatic about this decision and worked with my coach, Karen Davis, on it. Finding facts about real estate here and taxes, but first put my apartment in Oslo up for sale and sell it, and at the same time come back in April to look at Sore Bali apartments with two Scandinavian developers. Signed that in April for several reasons after carefully looking at the facts and listening to my heart. That’s what’s wonderful about having a word-class coach in your corner: being able to gain clarity about what I want and make several important decisions in a relatively short amount of time. Without my coach, I would be thinking about this back and forth for at least a year and have no clarity about what to do. It could have worked out, of course, but not in this remarkably efficient way, and I would have lost some opportunities.
Being healthy in attachment style
One other thing I can share in this post, because I will share it again, is about my healthy attachment style that has been developing over the last two years working with my coach. The topic is vast and deep, and I am making significant progress in it.
A recent example is feeling I need someone like a partner to feel whole. The idea has been in my head since 2012, after I dated someone and broke it off. On an accelerator with my coach, I finally let that go. The idea was neither helpful nor freeing. It has it roots all the way to me being abandoned when I was four years old. I have never been clingy or needy, but during the session, I realized I was more needy than I thought. Being needy in a way that makes me feel I have to be in a relationship.
My thought process was like this: “I will meet her, as I have so many other women in my life, by trial and error. Someone will say yes when I ask them out”, because that was my experience. What I didn’t realize and what my coach made me aware of is who I should really say yes to. Myself. Saying yes to myself will help me have peace of mind and be happy with my life.
Not in an egoistic way, but more like in a profound way of being healthy in attachment. Following my heart like this is helpful and saying yes to me. Now that I do that and no longer have the hunting feeling (I still sometimes feel it, but rarely), I am secure. It’s not about me being in denial or being unattached and having no feelings; it’s about taking care of myself, understanding my emotions, and being in clarity. I don’t need anyone to be ok. Meeting a life partner this way makes more sense if I ever happen to meet her.
I accept whatever life serves up for me. What if I never meet her? It was a scary thought at first during the session with Karen, but now I am good with the idea.
Freeing up mental space
I am listening to what I am receiving from life. No more insecurity (ofc sometimes, but I am aware when it happens), and no point in comparing and being jealous of someone. Realizing all this has been deep for me and very freeing. It is about freeing up a lot of space in my mind, leaving me with a ton of energy now.
I have more energy now, which I use for CrossFit, Hyrox, and being more productive as a coach. Showing up in the world, coming from this place, not needing anyone to say yes but myself to say yes to myself, is remarkable. I don’t have to get yes from people, although it’s nice, in either new friendships or dates with a woman. I am not attached to the outcome either. If I get a no from someone, I move along. I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me.
It’s been a little bit difficult for me to put this out there on social media, as it is vulnerable, but I also know I don’t care about what other people think of me anymore. What I think and feel about myself is everything.
What is landing for you as you are reading this?
