The Inner Child Nobody Talks About
When Distance Feels Like Safety
In the summer of 2023, I didn’t call my mother.
My dad had died three years earlier. She just wanted to know I was safe when I travelled.
I took it as intrusive.
Karen Davis — my coach — saw it clearly before I did. The four year old in me had been abandoned before. Lost people he loved. Decided somewhere along the way: not safe to trust love again.
So I kept my distance. From my mother. My sister. From women I dated for 20 years — the moment it got serious, I pulled back. Not because I didn’t care. Because I cared too much and didn’t trust that I was someone worth staying for.
The Text That Changed Everything
On the last day of an accelerator in Colorado, I texted my mother from the airport.
I’m on my way home. Will call you when I land in Oslo.
I’ve done it every time I travel since.
She’s my mother. I’m her little boy. She doesn’t need to worry anymore.
That’s what the inner work actually looks like. Not a breakthrough on a mountaintop. A text you’ve been holding back for months — and choosing to send it anyway.
What Vulnerability Actually Is
Vulnerability used to feel like weakness. Now when I feel it I slow down and stay with it. It’s information. It’s healthy. It means something real is happening.
Seeing People Clearly
Something else shifted too. I stopped putting my mother on a pedestal. I see her for who she is — a woman who loves her son and wants to know he’s safe. Nothing more, nothing less. That’s freeing for both of us.
Same with women I meet now. I’m present. I see them for who they are, not who I need them to be. I don’t work around their schedule or perform to keep them interested. I show up as myself. That’s what they want anyway.
Putting anyone on a pedestal is a signal — you’ve handed your sense of self to someone else. That’s not love. That’s anxiety with a good story.
The Retreat
This is the work I do with men at my retreat in Canggu this June.
Become an Attractor. June 22–27.
Not tactics. Not performance. Trust — in yourself, in love, in showing up as you are and letting that be enough.
We work on attachment. Presence. Psychological sovereignty. Becoming the kind of man who doesn’t need anything from anyone — and watching what that does to every room you walk into.
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If this landed, it’s probably meant for you.
